FYI

I may have had a change of heart.....I find myself returning to my original blog that I started when we traveled to China to meet our precious daughter, Lilly Grace. Somehow this blog just seems like home. I struggle though because I LOVE the name The Hour of Blue. The hour of blue is my favorite time of day. Twilight...when there is a purpley bluish cast to everything and we let the cares of the day slip away. It is a magical time and a time to give thanks for another day. I was so excited when I thought of that name and it had not already been taken. But...I keep wanting to write at the Lilly blog...after all it was Lilly who showed me that I wanted to live my life for a greater purpose. I had no idea when we decided to adopt that my heart would be split wide open, not just by her but by every single one of the 147 million children that live as orphans. I don't know yet all the ways I can help but I continue to pray on it and trust that the right way will make itself known. I don't think I will post much here right now but I will be posting at http://www.thestoryoflilly.com/ and I would love for you to visit me there.

xo

Kimberly

Where have I been?

Hmmm.....well, I have been to the grocery store, the post office, the bookstore, Target but where have I really been??? Did you think I was giving up on this blog already??? No, quite the opposite in fact. I am working on something that has been brewing for quite some time and it just can't wait another minute. An idea that came to myself and my friend Sharlyn is just begging to be completed and put out for others to enjoy. The project was 80% done over two years ago but we had some growing up to do before we could finish the other 20%.

There really is a season for everything.

 At times we can shame or scold ourselves for not bringing something into completion and certainly procrastination can be a very real thing. A real thing but  now always a bad thing. I personally think that procrastination can be God's way of stalling us until it is time. Now, don't get carried away with this theory. I think keeping our house clean, laundry done and bills paid are not things that we should procrastinate on. But sometimes when we are aren't working on a project or putting the finishing touches on something it is simply because the time is not right. We would be wise to pay more attention to when something feels right and take action during these times. Have you ever really needed to talk to someone and you keep running the conversation over and over in your head and you keep thinking "I should just call" and then all of a sudden one day you have dialed the number before you even realize what you have done? This is what I am talking about. Timing is everything. A subtle difference between waiting for the perfect time and procrastination but important to understand. Sometimes it takes hindsight to really see this. There are several reasons why this project was not ready to make it's appearance until now. I haven't always seen this but I do now.

So, I hope to be back with you sooner rather than later but first things first.

You will be among the first to know when we are finished and ready to take the next step.

Now, go do those dishes.

Just one question.......

What

would

you

attempt

to

do

if

you

knew

you

could

not

fail?

Soak up the Sun

For those of us who dread winter, these are the days to get outside and soak up all that sunny goodness. These warm, sparkly days are just the best.

Today my adult troubles loomed so large. I made it a point to go outside with Lilly and just be with her. She chased the dog, ate the last of the strawberries out of the garden and reminded me that in this very moment EVERYTHING is okay. She has brought such joy into our lives, we barely remember life without her. I think my troubles are big and then I remind myself that if everyone threw their troubles into a pile we would all race back to pick up our own. All things are blessed, including those things that seem to be your biggest obstacle. Whatever squeeze I find myself in is just my greatest yet to be trying to burst forth. I remember a quote from Arthur Ash the tennis champion...

"If I have to ask why me about my burdens, then I would have to ask why me about my blessings."

Instead, I will just say thank you for every single bit of it.

Without the dark I would not recognize the light.

We need contrast to put our lives into context, I now understand this. Thank you to Neale Donald Walsch. His book "Happier Than God" really helped me to see this. Don't let the title be misleading. It is quite a scientific book and truly has the power to change the course of your life.

Read it and see.

I am getting very sleepy.....

I can  hear my nice, clean, white Rachel Ashwell sheets calling my name.

It was nice to chat with you, I hope you are tucked in safe and loved.

Nighty night,

Kimberly

Happy Birthday Dan Dan

Sunday at my Mom's house.........

A sure sign of Fall

Lilly and Dan Dan putting ladder ball together

Dinner cooking

Make a wish!

This was sooooooooooo good

Who is Dan Dan? He is my mother's boyfriend and I seriously wish there was another word for boyfriend because everytime I say it I just feel weird. Not because I don't think she should have one and not because I don't like him (because I very much do) but because boyfriend sounds so highschool. So that covers who Dan Dan is but why that name you ask? Well, our children call my father Dad Dad (a shortened version of Granddad). When Dan entered the picture after my parents were divorced we joked one time that we replaced Dad Dad with Dan Dan and it stuck. Isn't it funny how nicknames happen? My nickname is Bele (say buh-lee) because my sister could not say Kimberly when she was little. To this day she calls me that and never by my real name. I won't bore you with all the whys of how nick names came to be but here is a short list of some in my family.

Richard.......Gee

Beth.......Cuzza Wuzza

Scott.........Scotty Wotty Do Da

Jennifer......Jeffin

Heidi.........Hilly

Lilly..........the Bean

Gregory.......Mr. G

Sharlyn.......sissy

I think it is so endearing to have a nickname and let me just tell you one more story about the first one on the list. How in the world did my cousin Richard start going by the name Gee (not gee as in gee whiz but Gee as in the g sound in the word great) Got it? Good.

Apparently my Aunt Stella (who my Uncle affectinately referred to as Telly) use to babysit way, way back in the day. As in way back I am talking the late 1960's. It seems one little girl just couldn't say Richard and so she called him Gee. That name stuck like glue and out of our 90 plus member family we ALL call him Gee. A few years ago we were at a family function and his mother (Telly) informed me that Gee really likes to go by Rich and uses that name at his job and she was trying hard to call him Rich so he did not feel like a litte boy with such a silly nickname when he was a grown man. I can appreciate the fact that he would not want to be called Gee at his job but what do you think the chances of me calling him Rich are after 40 years of knowing him as my cousin Gee. I will tell you the chances are ZERO. Never gonna happen. Can't be done.

He has been and always will be Gee.

Now I must confess that one of the things that is so fun about keeping this blog is that I almost never have a plan about what I am going to write. I often upload  my photos and just share the images that strike me at the time. Those images are my jumping off point for starting to write and then I just wind up wherever I do. So today I went from Dan Dan's birthday celebration to nicknames. I love that about writing and I love that about life. Too careful planning often sucks the life out of life.

What's your nickname?

Talk to you soon,

Bele'

What I Can See From Here

So............ I am very happy about having an empty memory card so that I don't have to wait forever to upload 5 pictures because there are six months of photos on there that have to "read" first. Yay for me, I can really do this technology thing...kind of. So, in an earlier post I said I wasn't always going to be inspiring I was going to sometimes just post about the mundane beauty of everyday life. Welcome to my life this beautiful September day. I have done six loads of laundry, played outside with Lilly, vacuumed the dining room, made beds, talked on the phone to two friends and survived a call from the bank regarding scary mortgage on unfinished dream house. I was hanging out on facebook, checking my email and catching up on my favorite blogs and Lilly fell asleep on my lap. I decided that it would be fun to use my new (empty :) !!!!!) memory card to show you what I could see from here while I was serving as the bed for a sweet sleeping girl. Welcome to my desk!

reading a favorite blog

my favorite old sign and $7 fan from garage sale

random inspirational stuff

sleeping baby on lap

beautiful print from Sharlyn and Heidi representing future dreams

Try this sometime. Just take pictures without moving around. I found this pretty entertaining.

Hope you enjoyed the mini tour.

xo

Kimberly

Shine

Nothing needs fixing;

everything desires A Celebration.

You were made to bend

so that you could discover

all of the many Miracles

at your feet.

You were made to stretch so that you could find

Your Own Beautiful Face of Heaven

just above

all that you think you must shoulder.

When I appeal to God

to speak to me,

I am feeling just as small

and alone

as you are.

But this is when,

for no good reason at all,

I begin to Shine.

Em Clarie 2007

Hmmmm.....

I guess the assumption might be that if one starts a blog then one must always have something to say.

Not so.

 For days I have been thinking I should post here but the truth is I couldn't think of anything to write about. Of course potential topics are endless yet I am still coming up empty. I read other blogs and admire them and all that they share and I think I am still trying to find my "style". Some people write very specific blogs on subjects like cooking or sewing or simply their children. I don't think I am a specific kind of girl. I would get so bored to continue to write on the same topic. Just not me. I like so many different things. I enjoy cooking a good meal, becoming immersed in a decorating project, reading, writing, taking pictures, going to estate sales, TRAVELING, going to the movies, learning new things, sitting by a campfire and just simply being with my friends and family. I use to dream about being one of those people who is just obsessed with one thing, like maybe horses. You know what I mean, those people who are all about one thing. In the case of horses it would be their entire life. They eat, breathe and sleep all things horse. Or maybe fishing (I live with that guy) or maybe gardening, that would be a good one. I am NOT that girl. My father once said that I have the adult version of ADD, maybe, but I just love so many different things and when I master something or it simply no longer holds interest for me I want to move on. Sometimes I feel a panic at the shortness of my human life when there is so much I want to see and do. This life is so amazing. I feel like a kid in a candy store.There is so much to choose from and so many experiences just waiting on us to show up and have them. So I think I am finally ready to set aside any fantasy I have about being one of those horse people and JUST BE ME.
What a concept.
How come it takes so long to just be who we are?

No excuses.

No apologies.

I hope my children don't have to wait as long as me to embrace the truth of who they are.

The picture above is one of my four cats.
 Do you think he ever thinks he should be anyone else? 

Seems so stupid in that context doesn't it?

I feel such responsibility with a blog, especially as you start to gain a following outside of your friends and family. A feeling of needing to say something really good, to hold your interest, to make sure you come visit here again and again. I think the best way to do this is not to worry about it. Remember the movie "Field of Dreams" with Kevin Costner? Build it and they will come? So I think my blog will start to be a bit more documentary style of what goes on in my daily life. When we adopted our daughter from China I had a blog where I just took pictures each day and then told about what we did and where we went. Sometimes it would lead to writing something very touching and inspirational and sometimes it was just we went here and we did this. I like that. I think that is the direction that I want to go in now. I have put pressure on myself to say something profound every time I come here to talk to you and quite frankly I think that will start to be annoying to both of us. Some of the most inspiring things come from the mundane details of our everyday life. The simple moments. The quiet pleasures. The spontaneous hug from your two year old, the homemade pizza cooked to perfection, the clean table with a fresh tablecloth and flower from your own garden. These are the moments that I savor. So let me tell you what I am going to do today. I am going to take a bath, then I am going to go pay my homeowners insurance, then I am going to one of my favorite little country markets in the town I use to live in as a little girl. After that I am going to clean my house and think about how I can start working a plan to become financially free so my husband and I can pursue our dreams. We have a four year plan but it is top secret right now. I will share when the time is right, but trust me that this blog is one of the first steps on the path. You will want to stay tuned. A grand adventure is in the works. But when the hour of blue comes this evening I will make some dinner for my four children (make that 5 when my oldest daughters best friend is with us) and my husband. I will most likely fall asleep with my book in my hand and my two year old curled up next to me. I will say thank you for another day to be alive and experience the gift of my own life.

xo

Kimberly 

Morning Walk

Isn't it amazing


what you see

when you take

the time to

really look?

I have been walking in the mornings with my sister-in-law. This is desperately needed for both my butt and my spirit. Today I decided to bring my camera and the mushrooms were what I decided to focus on. What was interesting to me is that once I picked the subject of mushrooms I saw them everywhere. They were there all along but until I decided to really see them I didn't even notice. I am always amazed at the life forms in the woods. All that goes on with no input from humans who try so hard to make things happen all the time.

And all the while the woods go on.

I go to the woods to let go. To remind myself that everything will be okay. I remember who I am when I am surrounded by such glory. My problems seem to shrink. I start to breathe deeper. Peace washes over me. I gain perspective and sometimes big insights.

And meanwhile the mushroom just does it's thing with no struggle whatsoever. It gladly lets me photograph it and marvel at it's beauty or it would kill me with a few bites.

Either way. The mushroom just IS.

I am pretty sure the mushrooms are secretly laughing at me right this very minute.

Regular Life

It can be tempting for me to think that every post needs to be profoundly inspiring and that can keep me from coming here to talk to all of you. That is ridiculous. The goal of this from the start was to use this blog to share my life. Sometimes it is profound, but sometimes it is pretty darn regular. I would never want readers to think that my life is simply one inspiring moment after another becuase quite frankly...it's not. I would like to lose weight, I feel a little short on cash at the moment and my house is WAY too small. I have no closets and my house often looks like a laundromat. It is helpful at times to visit my new house and see that each person in this family will indeed have their own closet soon and there will be plenty of room for our expanding family. Somedays it makes me feel worse because it isn't done and I have to dig deep inside and find some more patience and some more faith and there are days where I don't know if I have either of those things left. On those days my husband would like to be living on another planet and I would like to go with him and leave myself behind, if that makes sense. I think the hardest thing about this process is constantly feeling like we have something to do. There is very little down time and when there is we both have a tendency to feel guilty. This is terrible because we really need to rejuvenate from time to time in order to accomplish all that we are trying to do. My husband has a tendency to live in the "I will be happy when...." place. I sometimes follow suit but I know this is so wrong. Happiness is available in every moment if I choose that for myself. This is my new realization and I commit to looking for and living in the happy right now. This moment. I have prolonged joy too long. What if this was my last day? That would suck. Seriously. How can I be happy each day? By deciding to be. That's how. So this is what I have decided, I am going to be a happiness junkie. A crusader for all that is good. Sometimes it can be a Venti Iced Chai from Starbucks, sometimes a good movie, sometimes a hug from my daughter, sometimes a note that somebody is reading this blog and they are getting something from it and sometimes I will even struggle to find the happy. But I will. I am going to make a list of all the things that bring a smile to my face, those things that make me settle into myself and remember to breathe and to laugh. I deserve this and so do you.
Let's start a happiness revolution.

And that leads me to the picture above. I LOVE this old sign. It used to hang in one of my favorite deli's. I was so sad the day I went to get my favorite sandwhich and the place was empty. I was not happy! But I was very happy about a year later when my husband and I drove past a garage sale and that pepsi sign was one of the items for sale. It practically screamed my name as we went whizzing by at 60 mph. My shrieks of joy freaked my husband out who probably thought he had just hit a small mammal. He turned around at my request and a short ten minutes later we had that sign in the back of my car (it is a little hard to drive with a metal sign over your head, but it CAN be done). Now it hangs in my dining room and makes me so happy. The fan in front of it makes me super happy too. I found this about a month ago at a garage sale. It was $7. They do not make fans like this anymore. It drowns out all sorts of annoying sounds and actually moves air around unlike the new versions. I love the color too. It makes me want to break out the old country music and put cocktail peanuts in a bowl and make a litte cocktail to go with them too. It makes me want to play cards and go camping. Yes, this one little fan in front of this sign makes me feel all of these things. Next time I can't find my happy you will find me in front of this fan with my hair blowing back staring at the pepsi sign and I might even have a cocktail in my hand. If you find me this way, please don't disturb me I am just trying to find my way back.

I will be just fine.

Here's to Happiness,

Kimberly

Thank you

We are going to my cousin's wedding this weekend and then on to visit my sister and her family. It will be a bittersweet day as my cousin's father, my Uncle Dick, passed away in February and he is missed more than words can say. So as his son gets married his spirit will be felt but his physical absence will be hard to bear. My Uncle was one of those people that everyone loved and he loved us right back. He had the gift of making everyone feel that they were his favorite when in fact he just loved us all so much. His cancer diagnosis was sudden and his death a short five months later. He encouraged us that it would all be okay even when I think he knew inside that it would not be. Many lessons have come about as a result of his death but the biggest one is examining in close detail how I want to spend my days. I realize now more than ever before that there will be an end to my life. It makes me think of this line from a Mary Oliver poem

"What will you do with your one wild and precious life?"

It is wild.

It is precious.

What will you do with it?

It won't last forever.

How we spend our days will be how we have spent our life. I see places where I could do better. I am working to improve these things so that when I say my final goodbye to this world I will be proud of the mark that I have made, the love that I have given and received, the memories that I have made and the lives that I have touched.

I would gladly trade these lessons to sit around one more campfire with my Uncle Dick.

How would we cherish something if we knew it was the last time?

How can we live being so present in each moment?

How can we take our problems in stride and focus more on the joy?

How do we pay the mortgage, feed the kids, walk the dogs and keep our marriage alive while we stay mindful of this wild and precious thing called our life?

I am working on the answers and the one thing I am certain of is that GRATITUDE is the main ingredient. It is so easy to say thankyou to the waitress or the bank teller but I am not talking about that. I am talking about appreciation. Living from a place of gratitude does change the way I look at my life. I learned awhile back to start saying thankyou to everything. Including the hard stuff. It reminds me that my life is exactly that....MY life and I would not want to trade my joys or my sorrows with anyone else. I try to make a mental list of what I am grateful for each day and I realized just now that I am so incredibly thankful to experience this grief.

It means I loved someone so much and they loved me back.

Out of all the uncles in the world I got this one and he was extraordinary.

Do you want to know another thing on my list today?

YOU.

I have been receiving some personal notes along with the public comments that make me feel so encouraged to continue writing. This means so much to me. I love to write but what I really love is knowing that my words mean something to someone else.

So thank you for that.

In Gratitude,

Kimberly

Is a picture worth a thousand words?

There is a time for words and there is a time when there aren't enough words to describe what we are thinking or feeling. I have a friend on facebook who I went to school with but I have not seen her since 1987. We "friended" each other on facebook earlier this year. I was so happy to see her face and hear what she has been up to over the past two decades. Recently she posted a visual journey for her facebook friends that were strictly images of her over about a 25 year span. I was so moved by this. One of the first ones was a photo of her exactly as I remember her. It was maybe her 15th or 16th birthday and I said out loud "there she is". It brought a smile to my face and a flood of highschool memories. As I looked at each photo I could see the same girl I remembered in each and every one. Some where she looked like she was searching for something, some where she looked like she had found what she was looking for, some where she looked so wise and mature and some where she looked very childlike in her joy. But I could see the essence of who she is in each and every photo. I actually felt that I had learned a lot about where she has gone and who she has become in the years that have passed since I last talked with her. I found it very inspiring that I could feel so much by letting the images speak for themselves without any descriptions or words to get in the way.

Sometimes in our attempts to explain we lose the very thing we are really trying to say.

Sometimes the very best thing we can do is say nothing at all.

I thought it would be fun to just post the above images and not explain them away.

Enjoy!
Kimberly

Sedona Sedona Sedona

Sedona, Arizona

All I can do when I see this is breathe.

Deeply.

How can I describe the way I feel when I am in this beautiful place? I have lived in upstate New York most of my life and the majority of my traveling was up and down the East Coast. I had no idea this place even existed. One day I was visiting a friend who had recently traveled to Arizona and she was sharing her pictures with me (thanks Maralyn). I was taken in by one picture in particular of her standing by a cactus. I realized instantly that I had to see this place with my own two eyes. All of a sudden it seemed ridiculous to me that I had lived nearly 40 years and I had never met a cactus in person. Decision made. I was going to Arizona. I am happy to say that a short 6 weeks later I walked off a plane with my dear friend Sharlyn into the warm Phoenix air. Luggage, rental car, map, water and we were off. Our first destination? Sedona. We had no idea what we were about to see. It was a breathtaking drive from Phoenix to Sedona. A landscape I had never seen. I just kept thinking that I couldn't believe this had always been here and I was just seeing it for the first time. As we came around a bend in the road the red rocks of Sedona came into view. I am still baffled as to why they call them red rocks when they are clearly orange mountains. Either way, named or nameless, they were stunning. I felt tears spring to my eyes at the sight of this majestic "rock". This was Bell Rock to be specific. We were in awe and just kept saying "oh my God, oh my God, and......oh my God". We spent the next couple of days exploring Sedona and we were fortunate enough to return at the end of the trip (eight days and a few thousand miles later!) I have been able to physically return two times since that first visit but I have returned there in my mind nearly everyday. On these actual trips I started wondering things like where is the post office, library, school and of course health food store. I realized why I was wondering these things and for the first time in my life I could really picture living somewhere else. I have no idea what the future holds (Thank God) and we are about to move into our dream house and I have very strong roots in this place I call home. I am blessed with a lot of family close by and some amazing friends. I also happen to love this area minus the six months of winter that drags on and on and on taking my sanity with it. But wherever I live one thing is for sure.....Sedona has taken ahold of me and me of it. I think of returning there often and I consider it one of my "places".

Have you traveled much?

This is what I have found, there are lots of amazing places on this exquisite planet. I am impressed with most everything I see. Even though I can see the beauty of a place I don't always feel connected to it. I find myself saying things like "that was nice, but I don't need to go back."
Don't you find the same thing too?

Some places beckon us over and over again. There is some reason beyond our understanding that makes us feel home. I love when this happens and I have been blessed to be born in a place which feels this way to me. I hear this is not true for everyone. I am curious where your places are. So do me a favor if you will and send me a note on the comments page of your favorite

place(s). I will compile the list and share it with everyone in a future post so we can all add to our travel wish list. Consider making Sedona next on your list if you haven't seen it already. You don't want to pass this world without sitting on one of those rocks.

Trust me.

Happy Travels,

Kimberly

P.S. I almost forgot. We have written a book about our Arizona travels that will be available for purchase and download in the near future. I will keep you posted on the details.

Woman with Flower

I wouldn't coax the plant if I were you.

Such watchful nurturing may do it harm.

Let the soil rest from so much digging.

And wait until it's dry before you water it.

The leaf's inclined to find its own direction;

Give it a chance to seek the sunlight for itself.

Much growth is stunted by too careful prodding,

Too eager tenderness.

The things we love we have to learn to leave alone.

Naomi Long Madgett

I needed this reminder today and I thought you might too. Just for today I am going to let it be okay that my new house isn't finished. I LOVE it and I am going to leave it ALONE. I am going to trust that there is something unfolding greater than my controlling time table. There was once a beautiful spot in the woods. There was nothing there but this empty spot in the trees. Level ground. Some rocks. And a dream. That dream is soon to become the home where we live our life. Today, instead of seeing all that isn't done I promise to be amazed at all that has been done. There is a floor and a ceiling, walls and windows. A covered front porch that we eat blackberry pie on in the middle of thunderstorms. There is a driveway and even electricity and water. I choose to marvel that out of nothing and no way, a way was made. For this I give thanks and allow the house some room to breathe and a chance to get away from my eager tenderness. Is there anything or anyone that you need to stop coaxing and just allow the situation to be what it is? Let's just go for a walk in the sunshine and stop trying so hard to make it all happen.

Let's be like the blade of grass that never struggles to grow.

Let's just be.

I am glad to know you are with me and I am not alone.

Love,

Kimberly

Lilly Grace Ke Xiu

What in the world

did we
ever do


without this

sweet little girl?

To learn more about how we have been so blessed, please visit http://www.thestoryoflilly.blogspot.com/

She makes us laugh.

She makes us think.

She makes us smile.

She makes us cry.

She makes us exasperated.

She makes us connect.

She makes us dream.

She makes us play.

She makes us better.

She makes us give thanks.

She makes us amazed.

She

is

our

brilliant

and

beautiful

daughter.

Lilly

Grace

Ke Xiu

"An invisible red thread connects all those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break."

ancient chinese proverb

The Three Day Rule

"Make a gift of your life and lift all mankind by being kind, considerate, forgiving and compassionate at all times, in all places, and under all conditions, with everyone as well as yourself. This is the greatest gift anyone can give."

David Hawkins

A few days ago I forgot the three day rule. This is a great idea from an old friend and this is how it works: Something or somebody upsets you. You want to react from your place of hurt, shock or anger. You don't. You wait. Three days to be exact. A lot can happen in those three days. What I mostly find is that after 72 hours you just don't feel like saying anything anymore. It seems trivial or you have had further insight and feel more understanding. If the subject still requires discussion you have now had three days of contemplation, three nights sleep and hopefully some good nutrition and some laughter mixed in. You are in a much better place to share your feelings in a clear manner that avoids further upset. I really love the three day rule. This wasn't always the case, I use to think it was important for me to speak my mind on every matter immediately. I can proudly say that the majority of the time I now practice the three day rule on a regular basis. Until last Sunday. Sometimes we slip in the mud and sometimes we fall right in. What can I say? I am a work in progress. Aren't we all? If we were complete I think that would mean we were also six feet under. So I happy to be imperfect and ALIVE. These slip-ups were nothing serious really. Just some email and some facebook statuses that ruffled my liberal and spiritual feathers. I am usually happy to slip under the radar and content to live in my own world with my own beliefs that are shared by my closest people. But sometimes......................sometimes I read or hear certain things and I think..... Really? Seriously? Did you just say/write that? Are you really that ignorant/close-minded/selfish? Really? Seriously?

These thoughts are the caution light. The three day rule light is blinking fast and furious but I don't see it. I speed through the caution light and straight on past the red light too and I open my big fat mouth.

Upon reflection the past couple of days I asked myself over and over when should I speak out against ignorance or racism or just plain rude behavior? When is it ok? Then I check my email this morning and I find the quote from above which I will repeat here for good measure. "Make a gift of your life and lift ALL mankind by being KIND, CONSIDERATE, FORGIVING and COMPASSIONATE at ALL times, in ALL places, and under ALL conditions, with EVERYONE as well as YOURSELF. This is the greatest gift you can give." David Hawkins

I LOVE it when my questions are answered so quickly and so clearly. The answer is not that I never speak up, because of course there will be occasions where it is important. However, I should never open my mouth without asking myself the following questions:

1. Am I being kind to myself and others?

2. Am I being considerate of myself and others?

3. Have I forgiven myself and others?

4. How can I say this in the most compassionate way for myself and others?

I have had the honor and privilege of being at a conference where David Hawkins spoke. He is a brilliant man who lives from a very deep place while managing to take himself very lightly. I take his words to heart this morning and I hope you do too.

xo

Kimberly

PS. Why the picture of the clouds with all this talk about kindness, compassion, three day rules and such? Because if all else fails just get a blanket, lay down on it and look up at the sky. Then you will know that whatever is holding those clouds up there can certainly ease your mind and keep you silent in the wonder of it all.

What a Wonderful World

I married into a family that loves honey. In fact this picture is the label that my husbands Grandfather and Great Uncles used in their apiary. Somehow I am going to incorporate this image into the decoration of my new house. I have lots of ideas on how to do this and will keep you posted. Did you know that you there are companies that can take any image you give them and turn it into wallpaper? I am not a huge wallpaper fan but for something unique like this it could be kind of cool. This label makes me happy, it makes me think of simple times, it makes me want to keep bees and sell honey. My husband feels the same way. The truth is I am probably too scared of being stung to death on the first day of business but I like the picture in my mind of he and I working side by side everyday, tending to a home business that supports us and offers people a quality product that brings them joy. I am concerned about the honey bee and have heard various reports that they are in danger. According to Mr. Einstein it wouldn't take long for the human race to perish without the beloved honey bee. I need to become better informed on this issue and what we can do. I will let you know what I find out.

As for today, I will tell you that bees amaze me. I love to watch them do what they do. A few summers ago I read "The Secret Life of Bees" by Sue Monk Kidd and I absolutely loved it. It has powerful characters and such vivid descriptions that it was a long time before I wanted to read another novel. When I saw the movie, the honey house was right where I imagined it would be and the casting was perfection. It is rare that a movie can hold its own with a book but this one did a great job. If you haven't read the book, please do. As soon as you are finished reading run out and rent the movie, invite all your friends over and serve all things honey. The book is filled with great quotes but here is my favorite from the beginning.

"The Queen, for her part, is the unifying force of the community, if she is removed from the hive, the workers very quickly sense her absence. After a few hours, or even less, they show unmistakable signs of queenlessness." Man and Insects

Think of yourself as the Queen and your home as your hive and never underestimate your queenliness and how quickly your absence is felt when you are gone. Sorry guys but when I go to somebodies house and the Queen isn't there it just doesn't feel the same. Sometimes our chores are so mundane and so..... daily. It can be hard to feel the joy and find the sacredness in it all. I find being present to the task at hand really helps me find the gratitude and the joy. Some mornings I wake up and rush into all that lies before me and I find myself feeling distracted and resentful and maybe even a little bored with it all. On the mornings where I wake up a little earlier than I "need" to and I find a quiet spot and a cup of tea it reminds me that I am a Queen and I am surrounded by my own personal Kingdom. Thirty minutes is about all I need to sit in the silence, not attaching myself to any thoughts or noises that I hear. Time to be still. No buzzing. When I open my eyes I see something very different because after sitting in the quiet spot I find the quiet spot inside myself. I feel connected to something so much greater and instead of resentment or boredom I feel gratitude. Joy. I fold the laundry and I think about the cloth that touches my child's skin, I wash the dishes and I think of the nourishment that they felt from a meal made with love. I make breakfast for Lilly and feel the childlike wonder she has for something as simple as toast and fresh blueberries. I look out the window over my sink and I am simply amazed at what I see. The birds at the feeder, the cars passing by, the dog doing his morning run, the cat laying in the window box and on and on and on. Suddenly I can hear Louis Armstrong singing in my head..............

Stay tuned for more earth shattering revelations in my kingdom.

With love,

The Queen.

Excuse me, can you please move your ducks out of the road?

"The sun with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do."

Galileo

I needed to get out of the house today and the baby needed a nap. Perfect. When she is tired the car puts her to sleep before the wheels leave the driveway. I decided to go for a little country drive which isn't hard at all because I live in the country. Pick a road, any road, they all lead to the country. The first thing I see are these ducks holding council smack dab in the middle of the road. At first I wasn't sure what it was so I slowed down, as I got closer I saw it was a group of ducks. I kept going very slow thinking that as I approached they would move. Not so much. I got closer, and closer and closer but it was obvious that they did not plan on moving one little bit. So I went around them. As I drove away I glanced in the rearview mirror. They weren't even looking back at me. Such rude ducks. Don't they know they live in the country?

What would the country be without an old barn and a cornfield? I never stop thinking this is a beautiful sight.

Some black eyed susans just because.















I really, really want to drive this car to the farmer's market on Saturday mornings. I want to wear a sundress and a really big hat with Patsy Cline belting her lungs out on an old 8 track player.

This is the field next to the house that I grew up in. The neighbors owned the field and they were farmers. The same family with the one little girl for me to play with while I grew up. If you are wondering, we are still friends to this day. That would make it a 36 year old freindship. Each summer they would plant this field with corn for the cows but because they were so kind and generous they planted the first few rows with sweet corn just for us. As soon as it was ready we ate it almost every single night with dinner. Husk it (that was my job), boil it, roll it in butter, a little salt and pepper and it beats any fine dining I have ever experienced. Have you ever ate corn on the cob while looking out your window at the field that grew your corn? I count myself lucky to say that I am this club. I have always loved living in the country and that only intensifies with each passing year. Don't go crazy and think I don't love myself some Starbucks and a little retail therapy at Anthropologie and of course a little dinner at PF Changs because I do. Seriously. I enjoy the city and then I go running back for the comfort of old barns, cornfields and some very rude ducks.

Until next time,

Kimberly

When Will She Post?

You may be asking yourself this question so here is the answer. I will not attempt to post every single day, though sometimes I might. The schedule might look something like this: a post every day for four days, no post for two days, a post every other day for a week, no post for four days....you get the idea. It will be regular in an irregular sort of way. The reasons for this are many. Sometimes my simple self runs into technical difficulty and has to wait for help via my teenagers or the guy from the phone/internet company actually has to come to my house. Sometimes I might be in a funk with nothing to say. Sometimes I might be on a road trip without cell phones or laptops (imagine that?!?!), sometimes I might be crazy busy with my big family and trying to maintain one house while building another and sometimes I might be sitting on my new front porch doing nothing at all. So there you have it. I promise to post often enough to keep you entertained and interested but not so often you start to get sick of me prematurely. I have some photos and thoughts to share later today if I can but guess what? I have technical difficulty right now. Blogger will let me post words but not pictures and I can't get on any websites except this one, my email and anything saved to my favorites. Believe me on this one, if I could handwrite this blog and deliver it to each one of you in some sort of snazzy old pickup wearing faded levis, white t-shirt, flip flops and a ponytail I surely would. I would probably even bring you a bouquet of flowers and some lemonade. In the meantime I better call those repair guys. Talk to you soon!
Kimberly

"Well begun is half done." Mary Poppins

Today I am following the advice of Mary Poppins......."Well begun is half done." I have thought about this blog so many times....what I would name it, what I would write about, pictures I would post but the truth is.... I was SCARED. My first blog was easy. I was traveling with my husband to China to adopt our daughter and it was an easy way to keep in touch with family and friends. I knew I had a captive audience and a great story to tell and of course photos that many were dying to see of this precious little girl who had been on our hearts and minds for three full years. This time it is just a regular Tuesday night and I am writing at my dining room table with cords surrounding me on both sides and random pets and children tripping over them because my laptop is refusing to cooperate with the wireless router. I have no idea what I will write about or who might read it. I must confess it seems almost stupid.....just write about me and my life and take pictures for who??? Who will read it, who will care? Then I remind myself of all of the blogs that I follow that inspire me, uplift me and that remind me that there is such power in sharing our stories. I tell myself that this is the modern day version of my Great-Grandfather's daily diaries. Simple, yet so comforting. He would jot things down like: "It was Nancy's (my mother) birthday today. She turned 7. I gave her a dollar. Rode to town with the neighbor. Collected eggs. Picked a bushel of tomatoes. Corn on the cob for dinner." This tiny little bit of a man, Mr. Orrin Dickenson, a man I only know through stories that my family tells and these writings that go back nearly 80 years. Yet I read these words and I feel connected. I feel comforted. I picture my mom as a seven year old girl and how much a dollar must have meant to her in August of 1950. I can see the tomatoes bursting out of the bushel basket sitting on my grandmother's front walk. I can see her in the window preparing dinner for her husband, four children and her father. I see the laundry drying on the line. I am certain that my great-grandfather never could have imagined this thing called a blog or that is his great-grand daughter would read his simple words and enjoy it so much. I don't know why he did it. Maybe he wanted to remind himself of how he spent his days, maybe he was a writer in disguise, maybe these little journals made him feel like his life mattered. It's hard to say but I do know why I write. I write because I have to. When I don't write my brain feels too full like an overcrowded elevator. I write to make room, only to find out that the elevator is full again. I write to feel grounded, connected, reminded. I have loved the written word forever. I was an only child for a long time living in an old farmhouse in a small town with one neighbor girl to play with. Books were my friends. They were always there waiting for me and I would read on a blanket in the summer sun, wrapped in a quilt on the porch swing on a fall afternoon or curled up on my orange bean bag by the woodstove. Going to the library was heaven for me and even better was the book mobile. Ahhh.... I can see it now. Every summer the book mobile would make its rounds through our area, stopping in a different town each day for a couple of weeks. It was basically a mobile library and I LOVED it. It was an old van filled with book shelves in the back and I can remember the smell of it to this day. I don't think there was anything that made me happier than the book mobile. My mother would wait patiently but I was never ready to go. So many books, so little time. I could sit there for hours. Simple. Powerful. Stories. And so it began, my love affair with books that continues to this day. This naturally flowed to a love of writing and today I dare say to anyone reading this new blog...."I am a writer." It would be my great pleasure to have you join me as I share my thoughts on just about anything: blueberry picking, marriage, which paint samples I am currently dreaming about, books I am reading, spiritual matters, making soup, raising kids, traveling and just trying to be as humble and as grateful as I can each day. Let's begin!